A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classoom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. “This,” he explained, “is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste.”
After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being
the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. “If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth.”
TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: MANAGEMENT
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you,
Management
Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
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Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady,
How would you tell her that you have to go to the restroom,” the teacher asked.
“Just a minute, I have to go pee”, he said.
The teacher replied, “That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Paul, how would you say it?”
“I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”
The teacher responded, “That’s better, but it’s still not very mannerly to say the word ‘bathroom’ at the table.”
“And you Little Johnny – are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?”
I would say: “Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get to meet after dinner.”
The teacher fainted.
When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.
When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.
When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.
When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.
When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.
When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.
When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked.
I hope that its not a beer~~
=.=”’
my personal computer~
can eat but cannot surv~~ =p
doggie~~~!!
Who let the Dogs ouT~~!!??
WOW WOW WOW WOW~~
little girl~
haughty frog~~
crab or prawn~~!!??
Bikini Style!!
Would you wear fish out?
Need a poke from me?
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Where this guy comes from?
Let me guess.. Mars?
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