TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!
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TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow.’ ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L’
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
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TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
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TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE : I is…
TEACHER : No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE : All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
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TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.’
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?’
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good
cook.
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TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher…
