“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”
“I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”
“I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress.”
“Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
“The coffee machine is broken…”
“Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot…”
Read more Funny Office Jokes.
10 – YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
9 – YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU’RE
ON THE ROAD.
8 – IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND’S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.
7 – YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN’T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.
6 – YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.
5 – A HANDGUN DOESN’T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.
4 – HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.
3 – A HANDGUN DOESN’T ASK, “DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?”
2 – A HANDGUN DOESN’T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.
1 – YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.
more Funny Marriage Jokes
Cute lil food.. will you eat them?
Me in the cup.
The Rice and me.
Me and Strawberry.
Soup o me.
many many me..
gosh..
Floating me.
Fruittie me.
Lovely Couple.
Tempura me.
Fried me.
more Funny Pictures
Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
J. Paul Getty
A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
‘When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you’re 42-42-42. There’s more of you, but you are not worth as much.’
Lord Barnett
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn
1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.
