Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done”.

Quote from the Boss… “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.”

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: “We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired.”

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That’s because it’s unfamiliar territory.

My Boss said to me ” What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too … but at least I respect him.

He’s given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.

Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: ” I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!”

HR Manager to job candidate “I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.”

Quote from telephone inquiry “We’re only hiring one summer intern this year and we won’t start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss’ daughter finishes her summer classes.

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These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

1. When talking to your roommate, alternate the pitch of your voice.

2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.

3. Twitch a lot.

4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

5. Buy a fish tank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.

6. Become a subgenius.

7. Pretend to type in the middle of the air. Complain about how slow the computer has been recently.

8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.

9. Speak in tongues.

10. Move you roommate’s personal effects around. Start subtlety. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.

11. Walk and talk backwards.

12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Three girl friends have met up for their weekly meal together and are discussing their relationships.
One of them is engaged, one is a mistress and the other is married.

They decide that to try and surprise their men that night
all three will dress up in a leather S&M style bodice, red stilettos and a mask.

The next week they meet up again and compare their experiences.

The engaged girl says, ‘The other night, when my fiance came home, he found me in the leather bodice, the high red stilettos and mask covering my eyes. As soon as he
saw me he grabbed me saying “I love you” and carried me upstairs where we made love all night.’

The mistress says, ‘I went up to my lover’s hotel room where he was waiting for me and knocked on the door. I was wearing the leather bodice, the red stilettos, and the mask, with my fur coat on top. When I entered the room and dropped my coat to the floor, he said “Wow” and we made love all night.

The married girl say ‘Hmmph, I got myself dressed up the same as you two, leather bodice, red stilettos and mask over my eyes and waited for my husband to get home from work.”

“He opened the door, came in and said “Evening Batman, what’s for dinner?”

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more Funny Pictures

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You’d better watch out
You’d better not cry
You’d better keep cash
I’m telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

It’s hitting you once,
It’s hitting you twice
It doesn’t care if you’ve been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town

It’s worthless if you’ve got shares
It’s worthless if you’ve got bonds
It’s safe when you’ve got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY

You’d better watch out
You’d better not cry
You’d better keep cash
I’m telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH

You’d better watch out
You’d better not cry
You’d better keep cash
I’m telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

Cheers!

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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a  question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a  bus, went up on
the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop  window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
“Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of
me!”.

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap
would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my  first
day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead  Bodies for the
last 25 years…………

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Your Feet

Your Feet

Read your body with your feet.


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I wonder if your appetite would still be good after this walk?
First – Let’s take the tram up to the start of the trail.

Dangerous Journey

Dangerous Journey


Now follow the path.

Dangerous Journey

Dangerous Journey


Be sure to hold on to the “railing”

Dangerous Journey
Keep an eye on the person in front of you.
Gets a little steeper here – so put your toes in the holes .

Dangerous Journey
Be very careful when passing someone going in the opposite direction.

Dangerous Journey
Now just up a few steps. (they are on the left in the picture)

Dangerous Journey
A few more steps to go .

Dangerous Journey
Finally in sight.

“THE RESTAURANT”
The view’s great BUT – Would you dare to try it?
I wonder who build this.. THEY are the insane!!!


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